I am not sure where I stand on the afterlife. Do our souls leave our body to go and meet some all knowing being that will wrap their arms around us and make everything better, probably not. Do our souls descend into the bowels of our very worst nightmare, I hope not. I personally imagine all the energy that we hold within while living leaves our bodies at death and rejoins the universe in another way. This gives me comfort. Whether or not it is true, will remain a mystery until I die.
This idea of mine is a real mixed bag when dealing with the loss of a loved one. Selfishly, you want to think they are all swirling around you, because the thought of them truly being gone, is far too much to fathom. This year in particular I have had to come face to face with the concept of death and what I think it means to be dead.
So far in my journey with grief I have come to find that thinking about my loved ones energy and the love we had for one another within that energy is what is left when we are gone. When I feel like I need to connect with those I have lost I have two routes I can take. One, is giving myself space and time to sit and meditate on memories. Two, is connecting with that "love energy" floating around the cosmos.
That connection for me, comes in many different forms. I see it in nature, in strangers on the street, in family and friends, in food, in music and in art. I also think this is a connection you can build on and make stronger with practice.
A practice I am particularly fond of comes from the book "Botanical Magic'', by Amy Blackwell. It is called a remembrance spell. She suggests picking a candle that is the favorite color of the deceased loved one, inscribe the candle with their initials. Anoint the candle with diluted patchouli oil, and place it in a honored location within your home with a picture of the deceased. Burn the candle anytime that connection is desired.
It is said that the connection is at its strongest on Halloween. Is that true, again who knows. Just in case my candle and intentions of love will burn bright this halloween.